"To me, it's always seemed about as erotically thrilling as siphoning petrol from the tank of an uninsured Fiat Punto you've just found in the Lidl car park."
EMILY WHITE, ('Early 30s')
"If they'd only put a man in charge of feminism right from the start, we could have sorted the whole thing out over a few rounds of golf."
"The first time we shagged I made sure I explained everything that I was doing to her every step of the way. And why."
ALEC ELLIOTT, (Doesn't see 'age')
"He said he was moving to Japan to study Fukashima fallout. Fair enough I thought, but perhaps no need for the language."
"Was that where Id gone wrong? Had being held overnight on suspicion of living off immoral earnings irreparably damaged my career prospects?"
EMILY WHITE, ('Early 30s')
"Do you know what it's like!? To be sexually jealous of Jeremy Clarkson and James May? Of course you don't. No-one does."
"Sure, I could just sit in my flat like it's some kind of ivory tower. It's on the 25th floor of a tower block so that'd be easy."
ALEC ELLIOTT, (Doesn't see 'age')
"I mean, I didn't really trust the Japanese. Not after Pearl Harbour. You know, that Michael Bay film?"
"After that I thought I'd try fight club. But apparently that's not really a thing."
EMILY WHITE, ('Early 30s')
"Well sometimes love is crazy. Sometimes love just casts aside every European Working Directive in the book."
"This is it, I thought. This is what love is truly all about! Frequent sex with lots of different women! I couldn't believe no-one had ever thought of it before!"
ALEC ELLIOTT, (Doesn't see 'age')
"I applied, but the form said you needed husbandry experience. I'd never even been engaged."

Starring Genna Foden, Irwin Sparkes,
Daniel Curshen & Bernice Pike
Written & Directed by David J Collyer
Photography by Ev Sekkides


Monday June 3rd - 7pm
Tuesday June 4th - 9pm
Sunday June 9th - 8pm

Monday June 10th - 7pm
Wednesday June 12th - 7pm
Saturday June 15th - 2pm

Saturday 22nd June - 2pm
Sunday 23rd June - 8pm

Saturday 29th June - 2pm
Sunday 30th June - 2pm

Team Love Productions presents...
Leicester Sq. Theatre Studio, 6 Leicester Place, London, WC2H 7BX
£14.50/£12.50 conc.  |  Box Office: 08448 733 433
'This time it's personnel...'

Human: Resources is a comedy about love and work and jobs and sex.
It has four people in it and lasts for 90 minutes.
(There's a break halfway through so you can
buy another drink and have a wee.)